


this is all that i can be (save me)

by orphan_account



Category: The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/M, M/M, Pining, Spoilers, Unrequited Love, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-21 18:55:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8256742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: peter speaks of gwen stacy like she's the light of his life  and he says that she loves her so, so much and harry envies her because he's going to die and peter is gonna move on from him, still going to be with gwen stacy and right now he feels like he's the most unimportant person in the world because it's blinding him and he doesn't know if peter loves him at all.!! spoilers for the amazing spiderman 2 !!





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is a massive spoiler
> 
> what even is this this is my first time successfully finishing a writing in this fandom and the sentences never end and there's so much italics but i kinda like it anyways enjoy this mess
> 
> title from save by tyler joseph.

harry and peter are out on a walk when they see eachother again after god knows how long and when harry asks peter if he's got someone special, peter says yes and her name is gwen stacy and he says that he loves her and harry thinks she sounds like she'd be a pretty girl who would win peter's pretty heart and he envies her.  
  
peter speaks of gwen stacy like she's the light of his life  and he says that she loves her so, so much and harry envies her because _he's going to die and peter is gonna move on from him_ , still going to be with gwen stacy and right now he feels like he's the most unimportant person in the world because it's blinding him and he doesn't know if peter loves him at all.  
  
harry feels like he can't breathe when peter walks out on him just like that and he gets angry because _peter can't just turn his back on him and he doesn't want to lose him and he doesn't want to lose himself_ and he turns him around and looks him dead in the eyes because _i don't wanna end up like my father, pete_ , and he hugs him and holds onto him because peter is his only chance and _he doesn't want to lose him and he doesn't want to lose himself._

 

peter's body is racked with electricity but he gets up and he shakes it off and he's already back up again and he looks at gwen walking out of the power plant and he hears a loud, high laugh and he thinks it sounds like one of those awful supervillain laughs but then he hears it again and he turns around and sees something _flying_ , he sees _green lights_ and he realizes that it's _coming in their direction_ and when _it_ comes close, when _he_ comes close, he holds a hand out to gwen and he signals her to stay there and _harry_ stops inbetween peter and gwen and it hits peter in a pang and _he's scared_ , he's so, so _scared_ and he feels guilty and he feels like this is his fault and _oh god, harry isn't okay_.  
  
when harry looks behind him he sees gwen stacy, gwen stacy, _gwen fucking stacy_ and his face falls and it hits him that the guy clad in spandex infront of him must be _peter_ , he's made the connections in mere seconds and he can hear his own heartbeat and it's so fast and he feels so _betrayed_ because _he's dying_ and _peter let him_ but he's _out of his mind_ and he's grinning again and he quietly snarls before he says _peter_ , and he can't see peter's fear beneath the mask and peter is fully focused on harry and he doesn't really know _what in the world is going on_.  
  
_when you said spiderman said no,_  
_you meant, you said no._  
  
harry grits his teeth and _raises his tone_ and he sees peter's hands are _shaking_ when he speaks,  
  
_harry, what did you do?_  
  
_what you made me do._  
  
harry's look is pure hatred, and peter can _feel his own heartbeat_ in his chest and the words hit him and _he's so fucking sorry, he didn't mean for this to happen._  
  
_you were my friend, and you betrayed me!_  
  
harry _yells_ into peter's face and peter denies it because,  
  
_i was trying to protect you._  
  
and _peter's hands shake_ even more because this isn't okay and he feels like _everything's gonna go downhill_ the next second but he puts on a facade, he stays calm but he doesn't and harry shakes his head and speaks again,  
  
_look at me!_  
  
_hey, it's gonna be okay, this is gonna be alright-_  
  
harry's still shaking his head, he's still _grinning_ and peter's still _shaking_ and he's still scared and it feels like everything's _frozen_.  
  
_you don't give people hope, you take it away._  
  
_no, harry-_  
  
_and i'm gonna take away yours._  
  
time's _running_ again and it's so quick and peter doesn't understand but then he does, because harry _turns around on his glider_ and peter yells _no, gwen, run!_ and harry picks her up and they're in the air in no time, and peter feels like _he can't breathe_ when he hears her _scream_ and he webs himself up around the grid and to the tower, where harry is flying in circles and peter jumps and he _yells harry's name because this isn't him_.  
  
_harry_! gwen looks harry dead in the eyes and they're full of hatred when he replies with a snarl, _harry is dead_.  
  
_this is between you and me harry! you wanna fight? come down here, let her go!_  
  
peter _yells_ into the sky, and he shouldn't have because harry _loses_ his grin, but he _smiles_ , and gwen is _terrified_ , peter is _terrified_ , harry _drops_ her and _peter's heart skips a beat_ because he's kind of glad, but he's not, and he hopes he can catch her so he jumps up and embraces her and they _crash_ into the clocktower's glass roof.  
  
peter asks her if she's alright, but gwen is _terrified_ , peter is _terrified_ , and she shakes her head when in the next moment there's a _bomb_ going off, and the platform _collapses_ and everything is going so fast and for a second, _gwen is falling_ but peter catches her hand and with a web he sets her down on a spinning gear.

harry's caught up and he's in the clocktower with them and now that he's let gwen go he wants to get _revenge_ on peter, he's so _angry_ , he's so _furious_ , and he glides around the top of the tower, and peter _won't stop running from him_ , he can't catch him and he snarls and suddenly _peter is onto him_ and they're fighting eachother in a ball in the air and _he loved him but he doesn't anymore and he's so sorry but he's not_.

harry _trips_ on one of peter's webs and he gets knocked off of his glider and he falls onto the platform below him, but _the glider doesn't stop_ and _it flies towards the spinning gears_ and peter just only grasps that this is happening and it's happening in a matter of minutes and he's so _scared_ , and _he doesn't wanna hurt harry and he doesn't wanna hurt gwen and he doesn't wanna hurt anyone but it's going to happen anyway_.  
  
_harry's glider hits the gears_ , and _gwen falls_ along with the debris but peter jumps down and _catches_ her with a web, and he pulls her up but suddenly harry is behind him and _he's holding him down on the gear_ and it's still turning and harry wants to _ruin_ him so he _stomps his foot down on peter's hand_ , and he's still holding the string gwen is latching onto, and _peter's so sorry but harry isn't_ , and the gear turns and if peter isn't going to move from here the web is going to _snap_.

harry wants him to _bleed_ and he aims the dagger at peter's face, but peter moves and latches his hand onto harry's face, but harry moves his hand away, _slowly_ , because peter is still going strong and _he doesn't know how_.  
  
harry holds his hand down and peter knocks his head with harry's, and harry _screams_ , he _snarls_ , and peter _struggles_ and before he can puncture peter's face a second time he webs harry's hand to the gear, and the goblin latches the other onto peter's throat, and _peter's crying and he's guilty and he doesn't wanna do this_.  
  
peter shoots a web at the gear next to him and _wraps it around harry's neck_ , and _he's sorry, and he doesn't wanna hurt his best friend,_ but he's doing the exact opposite.  
  
_the gear turns_ , and the web is tight around harry's throat and _he can't breathe and it hurts and he can't escape and he can't get to peter_.

 

 _the gear underneath them turns_ , and _oh god_ the _web is gonna snap_ , it turns, it turns a _third_ time, and peter _jams_ his foot inbetween, and _it hurts_ , but _he's trying,_ and harry is still _choking_ , gwen is still _going to fall_ , and _it hurts_ when _she calls out his name_ and peter is still _crying_ and he's still _so fucking sorry_ because _this is all his fault_ and _the gear snaps out of place_ , harry gets launched back, and he's _unconscious_ , and _the web snaps_ , and _peter can't breathe_ , and it hurts when he hears gwen _gasp_ and the mechanical parts _clank_ against eachother and it's like they're falling _with her_.  
  
peter's head snaps around and he looks down, and _gwen is looking right at him_ and she's in tears and she's _terrified_ , peter's _terrified_ because she's gonna die and it's gonna be all his fault.

peter dives after her, and he shoots a web in a pathetic attempt to save her and he knows it's not going to work, but he tries anyway because it's the only thing that could make him feel more optimistic about this, and they're both falling, gwen's hair is flowing, her jacket is flowing, and peter takes one more moment to take in her beauty because she's not going to survive this.  
  
the web _doesn't_ reach her in time, it only catches her when a sickening _crack_ echoes in the clocktower accompanied by _clanks_ of metal and peter sobs because _he heard_ and _he loves her_ so much and _he's so sorry_.  
  
peter catches himself on a piece of metal sticking from the sides of the tower and sticks the web to it, and he jumps down and _rips his mask off_ and throws it away because it's the least important thing right now and he walks over, _takes gwen into his arms_ and detatches the web, and the tears _won't stop_ and he tries to reassure himself that she's alright but there's blood running out of her nose and _peter couldn't save harry, and he couldn't save gwen, he only saved himself._


End file.
